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16 People Who Should Not Be Allowed Back In The Kitchen

You know that person who has a “special dish” that they love to make, but it’s actually disgusting? And they always want to make their garbage food when you come over? And you don’t know how to tell them that you’d rather eat your own feces, so you either gag it down or pull the Seinfeld mutton move?

Well, that person isn’t the worst of them. In fact, after seeing this list, you might consider yourself lucky.  Bon appetit!

1. Congrats, you managed to turn caramel into the heart of Mount Doom

Cast it into the fire!

1. Congrats, you managed to turn caramel into the heart of Mount Doom

2. Cool, a tumor…

I’ve always wanted to cut open a yeasty dough sarcoma and sandwich some mayo and ham inside it.

2. Cool, a tumor...

3. Did you create a pizza pop bomb?

Or did you massacre the Pillsbury Doughboy?

3. Did you create a pizza pop bomb?

4. Oil and water

A really fun combination if you want to be dead and/or homeless.

4. Oil and water

5. If you can’t handle the heat

Don’t be trying to brûlée your crème.

5. If you can't handle the heat

6.  Do you know what makes asparagus even better?

Carcinogens.

6. Do you know what makes asparagus even better?

7. Probably this happened…

You are never too good for a measuring cup.  Never.

7. Probably this happened...

8. Blackened turds

Thank god for the pumpkin jelly and raspberry garnish. Really saves the dish…

8. Blackened turds

9. And it resulted in this

That’s one expensive pot of rice.

9. And it resulted in this

10. This is exactly what happens when you let a Paleo into your kitchen

You think you’re getting pizza, and then they serve you some cauliflower scrambled eggs trash with turkey pepperoni. Then you choke on a chunk of almond meal and die.

10. This is exactly what happens when you let a Paleo into your kitchen

11. You actually managed to make bacon unappetizing

How, you ask?

11. You actually managed to make bacon unappetizing

12. What Ramsey said.

That bacon is so saturated in oil, that the Bush family just dropped Halliburton for it.

12. What Ramsey said.

13.  If you need to hide from whatever you are cooking…

Just don’t cook it.

13. If you need to hide from whatever you are cooking...

14. If you can’t cook with Teflon…

Just give up.

14. If you can't cook with Teflon...

15. What were you trying to do?

Anyone who treats a pizza like this is a goddamn savage.

15. What were you trying to do?

16. Ever wondered what would happen if you put a knife in a toaster?

Then you’re an idiot.

16. Ever wondered what would happen if you put a knife in a toaster?

Originally posted 2015-12-10 10:32:01.

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