You know that person who has a “special dish” that they love to make, but it’s actually disgusting? And they always want to make their garbage food when you come over? And you don’t know how to tell them that you’d rather eat your own feces, so you either gag it down or pull the Seinfeld mutton move?
Well, that person isn’t the worst of them. In fact, after seeing this list, you might consider yourself lucky. Bon appetit!
1. Congrats, you managed to turn caramel into the heart of Mount Doom
Cast it into the fire!
2. Cool, a tumor…
I’ve always wanted to cut open a yeasty dough sarcoma and sandwich some mayo and ham inside it.
3. Did you create a pizza pop bomb?
Or did you massacre the Pillsbury Doughboy?
4. Oil and water
A really fun combination if you want to be dead and/or homeless.
5. If you can’t handle the heat
Don’t be trying to brûlée your crème.
6. Do you know what makes asparagus even better?
7. Probably this happened…
You are never too good for a measuring cup. Never.
8. Blackened turds
Thank god for the pumpkin jelly and raspberry garnish. Really saves the dish…
9. And it resulted in this
That’s one expensive pot of rice.
10. This is exactly what happens when you let a Paleo into your kitchen
You think you’re getting pizza, and then they serve you some cauliflower scrambled eggs trash with turkey pepperoni. Then you choke on a chunk of almond meal and die.
11. You actually managed to make bacon unappetizing
How, you ask?
12. What Ramsey said.
That bacon is so saturated in oil, that the Bush family just dropped Halliburton for it.
13. If you need to hide from whatever you are cooking…
Just don’t cook it.
14. If you can’t cook with Teflon…
Just give up.
15. What were you trying to do?
Anyone who treats a pizza like this is a goddamn savage.
16. Ever wondered what would happen if you put a knife in a toaster?
Then you’re an idiot.
Originally posted 2015-12-10 10:32:01.